Do you want the truth about why you are addicted to sex?
ESSENTIAL TRUTH #1
Many of your fundamental beliefs, behaviors, habits and opinions are learned when you are very young-acquired inadvertently by association, conditioning and reinforcement rather than chosen consciously by TRUE REASONING.
Due to this developmental process, some of the fundamental beliefs you have subconsciously accepted as ‘true’ are, in fact, Not True.
THE TRUTH EXISTS IN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS…
SAFELY ‘LOCKED AWAY’ IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND.
When you accepted beliefs that were ‘not true’ in childhood, you decided how to best meet your needs and desires based on these beliefs. Reinforced, your body naturally stored these beliefs and behaviors as subconscious programs… Which then began to automatically determine your behaviors of sexual addiction, love addiction and or porn addiction.
These programs are operating beneath your awareness… Like the programs that operate your heartbeat and blood pressure.
Held to logical reasoning, your now-adult-mind would no longer agree with your programmed instructions. If the beliefs were ‘brought to light’, you could see the logical flaw that ’caused’ you to choose your behavior.
…THE TRUTH IS, YOUR PROBLEMATIC BEHAVIORS ARE BASED ON FLAWED BELIEFS.
The Beliefs Were Flawed. You Were Innocent.
“A belief is more than an idea the mind possesses, it is an idea that possesses the mind.” – Robert Oxton Bolton
The Bottom Line Is This:
YOUR NOW-ADULT MIND IS OPERATING IMMATURE SUBCONSCIOUS PROGRAMS BENEATH YOUR AWARENESS.
Inaccurate limiting programming, that exists in your subconscious mind, is the reason you are experiencing yourself addicted to sex, love or porn.
Your subconscious programs can be compared to those of a computer. Just like the instructions within a given computer program, your subconscious programs are controlling your reactions by limiting the behavioral responses you see available to you.
As your Awareness has expanded through your VALUABLE LIFE EXPERIENCE, you have inevitably encountered limitations based in your personal childhood programming–immature conclusions which have resulted in your specific experience of sex addiction, love addiction or Porn.
Your subconscious programming was accepted in Stages, which perfectly align with your physical development as you were maturing.
STAGE ONE SUBCONSCIOUS PROGRAMMING:
BIRTH TO 18 MONTHS OLD
You began your physical experience as an infant in a state of complete dependence. Your vulnerable state was intensified by the fact that you could not-yet communicate in the same verbal language spoken by your caregivers. As a direct result, you may have experienced yourself as restricted, perhaps even powerless, to get your needs and desires met.
In Reality you were powerless to independently get your needs met.
During this stage of development you will have made conclusions about:
1. Whether or not you are welcome in the world,
2. Whether or not the world is supportive of you, and
3. Whether or not just ‘Being’ in this world is sufficient.
When you experienced, in your innocence, your needs or desires as unfulfilled or even rejected, you may have decided that the most efficient way to avoid this frustrating experience is to reject the very aspect of your Self that is experiencing the need or desire.
In this well-intended effort to protect your vulnerable, emerging Self, you may have inadvertently programmed and reinforced the flawed belief:
“My needs and/or desires are not important.
I Am not valuable as I Am.”
This conclusion is followed by a decision about your behavior, such as:
“I must adapt and be something different”
ESSENTIAL TRUTH #1 is:
I AM VALUABLE AS I AM.
MY NEEDS AND DESIRES ARE VITALLY IMPORTANT.
True needs are your body’s way of communicating to you that which is necessary for your survival. Your experience of desire is your soul’s way of communicating what is necessary for you to thrive. In other words, as a mature adult, your ABILITY TO THRIVE (as compared to simply survive) is now dependent upon your personal ability to hear and productively respond to the truth of your own needs and desires.
Here is an EXAMPLE:
YOUR EXPERIENCE: Imagine yourself as a 9 month old infant. You have awakened in your crib and are experiencing hunger pangs. Your body is communicating your need for food.
However, in your completely dependent state, you cannot meet this need independently. Not only do you need food. You need someone to provide it for you and feed you.
You communicate your need in the way you know how…the way that is in perfect integrity with your developmental stage…you cry. Your mother hears your cry.
However, desensitized by her own past conditioning and subconscious programming, rather than hear and appropriately respond to your need for food, she falsely concludes that “you are just being fussy”. She communicates this to you by closing the door to your room and leaving you to just cry it out.
Your mother, in what was a well-intended response to her false perception of reality, has presented you with the suggestion that your expression of your need for food is Not Real. She presented you with a false reality–that “you are just being fussy”.
THE CHOICE: Although you do not-yet-possess the maturity to logically discern, you are being presented with a choice; a choice to accept your Reality or your mother’s False Reality.
THE RESULT: If you accept True Reality, your conclusions and behaviors will be based in Truth and you will not experience the symptoms of a subconscious program. On the other hand, if you accept your mother’s suggestion, you will have accepted a False Reality and the behaviors you see available to you will be limited by this False Belief.
As a dependent child your True and Real experience of your needs being rejected, conditioned and reinforced over time, may lead you to subconsciously accept ‘Self-Rejecting Beliefs’ such as:
I don’t really need this–I’m just being fussy. I’m too needy. My needs are not really important. Communicating my needs won’t work.
…Or you may accept ‘Significant Other-Rejecting Beliefs’ such as:
Women cannot be trusted to meet my needs (independent of whether or not they are actually trustworthy), etc.
Rejection of your Self or Others leads to:
The False Self
THE REAL ‘PROBLEM’: Your Integrity will compel you to eventually acknowledge your True Needs and Core Desires (ie: I’m feeling hunger. I need food). Even if you’ve rejected them, they are alive and well–patiently and reliably cycling you to discover, through your experience of addiction, the subconscious program you accepted in your innocence (ie: I’m overly needy. I don’t really need what I think I need).
PS: If you are experiencing addiction, you will not-yet-aware of these conclusions, as you will subconsciously perceive them as ‘reality’.
Until you see True Reality, due to your commitment to meet your Needs and Desires, you will be compelled to operate from a FALSE SELF based on your subconscious program (ie: Unconsciously believing “I’m too needy”, I become driven to lie when I experience them and become a compulsive liar).
As an adult operating a Subconscious Program, the pool of behaviors you see available to you to meet your Needs and Desires are greatly limited. Having unconsciously rejected your own needs, you have devised a backup plan of sorts–one that you believe will eliminate the risk of the potentially painful experience of being rejected by yourself or others. However, in Reality, your behavior is greatly increasing your risk of being rejected.
Your experience of Sex Addiction is your False Identity attempting to meet your needs from a limited pool of self-sabotaging behaviors based on your unconscious Misperception of Reality.
IN REALITY: By subconsciously accepting programming that rejects your Needs and Desires as valuable, you unintentionally abandoned and rejected your True Self by deciding you ‘should be’
SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN THE TRUTH THAT YOU ARE.
Subconscious Programs can result in multiple False Selves. False Selves CANNOT fill the real need for love and intimacy because they are not forming attachments based in Truth. In other words, the False Identity is INCAPABLE of meeting the True Need it is compulsively trying to fulfill.
By inadvertently accepting Subconscious Programs, you DIMINISH your CREATIVE POTENTIAL and effectively WITHHOLD FROM YOURSELF YOUR RIGHT TO MEET YOUR REAL NEEDS and DESIRES.
THESE SELF-LIMITING PROGRAMS ARE EVIDENCED BY THE EXPERIENCE OF PERSISTENT UNWANTED THINKING, BEHAVIORS, AND/OR CIRCUMSTANCES……including the experience of sexual addiction love addiction and porn addiction.
RELEASE YOUR LIMITING SUBCONSCIOUS PROGRAMMING AND REPROGRAM A NEW EXPANSIVE CONCLUSION IN ALIGNMENT WITH TRUE REALITY.
This process requires:
1. Opening your mind to the possibility that you’ve accepted limiting operations that are not necessarily true,
2. Locating the limiting program,
3. Witnessing the Misperception of Reality in the original program and Declaring the Truth of your experience, and
4. Consciously asserting and reinforcing behaviors in alignment with your newly decided expansive Truth.